I already wrote a blog some time ago with a very similar topic and it was about poker and psychology, this entry might be considered as psychology related as well but it does at the same time also represent my own frustrating mindset as well. I realized though that for some reason I am able to write and deal with my not so fortunate experiences in a constructive way and writing about it always helps to get it off your chest.
After all, you can even send it to the person that it’s supposed to, but you don’t necessarily have to … writing it down means you can change parts of the text and it is your choice if you publish it or not. But when you speak to someone in person, things are said depending on the situation and you cannot take back the words once they have been said and we do say a lot of stupid things in the heat of the moment that we might regret later on.
Based on our experience, knowledge and feelings we tend to grow certain expectations and most of the time we are not far away from the reality. But we don’t always make the most logical choice and our expectations are not as realistic as they are supposed to, mainly because we listen to our heart and ignore all warnings from our head. We expose our weakness and feelings and it is quite possible that we get hurt.
Getting hurt doesn’t necessarily mean it is a bad experience, because all happens for a reason and life is a never ending challenge full of lessons left and right. But how we deal with them and all their consequences defines our karma and also our personality. Some try the easy way and never get hurt, there is nothing wrong with that. But it is in the human nature to be competitive and break out of the boring isolation in the search for adventure.
We might not always know what is gonna happen and that insecurity is dangerous and also very exciting at the same time as well, because it means a different and new experience and we break out of our very own comfort zone. The final result might be totally different from what we expected on first sight and it can be pretty frustrating, but it is also part of the learning process and makes us a better person in the long run.
I wish I could say I always approach situations with the most realistic expectations, but I am a young and sometimes also naïve perfectionist and do almost everything with a lot of passion. This exposes me more than I want to admit and it also symbolizes a by far higher risk, because I think and analyze and am very careful with my emotions. If I find something worthwhile, I probably invest too much and might get hurt more than its supposed to though.
Such is life and it is not always fair, but this way it will also always be interesting and might hold quite some surprises. I don’t regret what I have done and will continue to listen to both my heart and my head, but maybe my own needs deserve a higher priority than they used to have so far. It will probably hurt for some time, but what doesn’t kill you just makes you stronger and I intend to follow that path even if it is very likely that I get hurt in a similar way again.
A lot of people cannot express their feelings and I am no different, sometimes I am just not able to and regret that I wasted some opportunities to say what I really feel, but I am also open minded enough and see potential to improve. I am good at writing and expose quite a few emotions despite the fact that this might be interpreted as weakness for a guy … but this is the path that I have chosen.
You need to believe in your own abilities and skills and use them to your advantage as well as helping others that seek for help because they are not fortunate enough. We are all different and nobody is perfect, we all made a lot of mistakes and will make them in the future as well, but if we didn’t make any mistakes how are we supposed to learn from them? As long as we try to avoid making the same mistake again and learning from them to increase our knowledge it is the right way to deal with all potential consequences.
Thanks for the attention, hope this uncommon rant was not too complicated but I can assure you it did help me a lot to get it off my chest. I gonna end this entry with a saying from one of my poems:
I am a goodbye hater,
Much more prefer “See you later”.
zedmaster84
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