Poker, News and random rants about me, life in general and ... did I mention poker already?

Feb 17, 2012

The human mind, may it always be kind

Friday, February 17, 2012 Posted by Unknown No comments
Sooner or later everyone reaches a point where he / she asks whether or not everything in the own life makes sense, even though we may not always be able to look at it in an unbiased way. I have no idea if this entry gonna be another "midlife crisis" blog or simply a reflection of the own mindset and it is somewhat comical that we are not afraid to write this down on the world wide web but barely ever share these issues with close friends or family.

The exposure doesn't really matter, more the fact that something that has been bugging you for a while has been said and is finally off the chest. Will it change much? Probably not in a short time but in the long run things can turn for the better and adjustments help to improve the daily routine and find as well as maintain a better mindset.

Did you ever have the feeling that no matter how hard you try, you don't get anywhere and that you are stuck in the middle of nowhere? A black hole that snatches your future plans and you cannot shake off that helplessness? I have a full time job, well more than one ... I try to keep myself busy despite knowing that I cannot get a few things I want right now. You sit there and tell yourself that it will get better, but it is irritating to say the least that it's difficult to break out of the isolation of the own mind.

I am good at what I do, not perfect but also not crap. It may not be my dream job, but more often that I might want to admit I actually enjoy it and all the opportunities and potential doors that it may open. It's no boring office job and I get to travel and meet new people, a certain responsibility is always dragging down your shoulders but that is how we grow: What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. But what if you get the impression that there is no progress after all? A project here and there, another event done and more pictures taken. Right, this should make me happy.

But something is missing without any doubt and even though I am fairly certain I know exactly what it is, I rather take the punishment myself instead of potentially hurting others. Always keep the smile on the face, let's hope nobody notices the emptiness behind it. So what's the moral of the story? Don't let free time fool your mind and bring up thoughts like "What if" ... seriously, all those stories kill the mindset and we shall focus on reality.

Rant over.

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